Top Three: Status updates you will never, ever see me use on Facebook
Posted by Gretchen Alice at 9:29 PM1. Generic emotions with no explanation whatsoever. “Blanky McBlankerson is happy/sad/excited/tired/etc.” Yeah, good for you. At least use a bit of interesting vocabulary in there. I’d much rather read something like “Blanky likes using words that make her sound pretentious, like ‘pretentious.’”
2. Observations on the weather. Chances are, most of the people in your network live where you live, and therefore don’t need an update! And if they aren’t in your network, they don’t care.
3. Write something about “what I’m doing right now” and take it literally. Examples include “doing homework,” “going to bed,” and the like. I mean, other than the fact you’re obviously on facebook instead of working on an assignment, this is another good instance of me not caring.
P.S. Acceptable updates include quotes, funny stories, links, pointed observations, song lyrics, pithy social commentary, or telling me you’re auditioning for Jeopardy! (That last one is totally true for one of my friends.) Also, no offense if you actually do these things, just don’t expect me to any time soon.
Oh! You can also now find me on Twitter. This means the Billy Joel feature is gone, but I’ll make sure to include some choice lines from the Piano Man occasionally.
I’ve gotta run. I’m busy, it’s snowing, and I have really got to get going on reading that chapter…
The weather one? Amen to that! I live in Canada. It's cold in the winter. Yet, EVERYTIME IT SNOWS about a third of my facebook friends write something about how they are cold. Or how it's snowing and they aren't happy. OF COURSE it's snowing. It's FEBRUARY. WE ARE ALL COLD.
Okay, I'm done ranting. I just had to get that off my chest.
brandy said...
February 25, 2008 at 10:23 PM
okay, thank you. Some random blogger totally almost convinced me to go to facebook and see what all the fuss is about.
I'm glad I didn't go, and I can see now that I will have no use for the place! :)
Kristen said...
February 26, 2008 at 9:44 AM
I have a love/hate relationship with Facebook... but usually I am more-or-less indifferent, aka "hate"
xox
Anonymous said...
February 26, 2008 at 1:41 PM
I've actually met a Jeopardy contestant. This was before he was on Jeopardy, though.
Q said...
February 26, 2008 at 9:20 PM
I actually just never update my status, leaving it blank. But some updates are, well, not so much interesting.
Anonymous said...
February 27, 2008 at 9:14 AM
Facebook is wonderful, but it's not perfect.
Q--Awesome! Along the same lines, my dad knew the Jennings family when Ken Jennings was just a little kid.
Gretchen Alice said...
February 27, 2008 at 10:41 AM
I rarely update my status. That's what Twitter is for.
Anonymous said...
February 27, 2008 at 7:26 PM
Yes, he's the one I met.
Q said...
February 27, 2008 at 7:57 PM
I so want to meet Ken! His trivia email is the highlight of every Tuesday morning. Small world, eh?
Gretchen Alice said...
February 27, 2008 at 10:21 PM
Yeah some of those status updates are pretty stupid. I try to put a funny spin on mine. I wonder if anyone else finds it funny or if it's just me.
Anonymous said...
February 27, 2008 at 10:27 PM
Small world and Ken Jennings... You have no idea.
Q said...
February 29, 2008 at 3:04 PM